Clarke's Diary - Part Two

In the spirit of transparency and legal obligation, we've decided to give you a peek into our inner workings. So, here's our teaboy, Clarke Denmark, who's on a placement with us (I think) to give you 'PART DEUX' of his Dice insight. 

Filming

Hi hello, I'm Clarke again.

On filming days I normally arrive on set at around 4:00-4:30 in the morning. I rush about setting up lighting and audio equipment, preparing the costumes, and re-tiling the bathroom. Just any jobs that need doing before we get going. 

The guys My employers usually turn up at around one in the afternoon still drunk fresh from the night before. After some violent jostling and witty banter they calm down a bit and I make them breakfast; a Bloody Mary for Tom, a pro-plus smoothie for Ian, and for Louis, his speciality egg sandwich, a sandwich which uses fried eggs instead of bread. 

One of my bosses will then 'get into the role'. Tom uses me to act out his character with, but he tends to get carried away. Sometimes I wonder why they write such violent and sexual characters. 

With the filming begun, the mood turns professional and it's down to work. That's not to say the work is lacking in fun. Only this morning Ian used the director's clapping board on my face (OUCH!). My doctors say that the cartilage in my nose is broken stronger than ever!

When the film is in the can (not literally!!) we all look through the footage for shoddy camera work or poor acting stylised shots and nuanced performances. After a hard day's work we celebrate with a well-deserved pint. Of course I can't legally drink, so I pack up the equipment and clean the place up. 

My day ends after I've dropped the guys off safely and I've refilled the van with tractor fuel. They say if I keep this work up they'll let me off probation in two months time, happy days!1!!

Great stuff. An invaluable resource to all the aspiring 'technical media assistants' out there. If you missed 'PART ONE', you can click this link here and read it.

Otherwise, you can subscribe to this blog for more fascinating tales from Clarke.