Video Wall 5

Did someone say, "Veritable fun feast for the eyes"? No? Well, it's on your plate now. See what you can manage. Now we're at the start of a working week again, here's some audio-light displays which I feel may help ease those uneasy work sensations.

• 'All I Want For Christmas Is...' - Paul Rayment. A Christmassy highlight for yow. This guy made a very nice music video for the Super Furry Animals in a similar style and got featured on da ChewYube.
  
• 'I Met the Walrus' - Josh Raskin. Academy nominated animation made to the recording of a 14 year old's impromptu interview with John Lennon. If you don't like the Beatles, don't worry, it's all about the intense interweaved animation and spot on cue hitting. Here's the story about it.
• 'Superhero Fashion Emergency' - Mike Parker (or at least he has the most credits).  Made for College Humour TV. Good little mickey take and the site is also good for general smut and funnies.
• 'Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! - [adult swim] - Chan'. Tim Heidecker & Eric Wareheim are endless powerhouses of wierd chuckle nuggets. There really must be an inbalance there - they make A LOT of stuff.  Good stuff. Really Good Stuff. I'm stuffed. Adult Swim is also well worth perusing. 
  

Mince, Pies and Videotape

As it's nearly Christmas, I'm going to help you decide what to buy your nearest and dearest to avoid those awkward "Oh...thanks...um...great" moments around the tree on the big day. And what better way to help than to suggest not only a great present, but a potentially life changing purchase...that could literally change your life.

That's right, I know what everyone needs after a gut-busting festive period. Why, a fitness video of course. But which one of the myriad titles festooned upon us this winterval should you choose? I've narrowed it down to two, both of which look obesely flabulous.

First up is the '5 Step Fat Attack' by former band/camp-dance-troupe/line-dancing-posse member, Claire from Steps. Claire - real name Claire Fromsteps - has clearly been busy since leaving the band. As the cover art shows, she made the most of the royalties from hits like '5,6,7,8' and...um...others, by piling on the pounds. Safe in the knowledge that she used to be a bit out of shape, you too can follow her lead and become a better person.

Let's take a look.

Inspiring stuff. So the message is clear, if you want to get fit, you've got to declare a war on terror...but on fat, preferably in a disused canteen. And remember, punching is the new not eating. Claire from Steps says so.

Next we have the other big hitter vying for your hard-earned dollar. It's from long-forgotten TV health hero Max Fitness who, after a long spell in the depths of deep self-loathing, has re-emerged with a new workout available on VHS, cassette and minidisc. Whack this on and Max will choke back the tears to bust a cap in yo' flabby ass, so to speak. There won't be a dry artery in the house after this is unwrapped.

Let's see his words of wisdom.

Just fantastic. With advice like this selling for a song on the street, it's a wonder why child obesity is still rife in the UK.

But which one should you choose? Which one will devour those love handles in minutes? Which one will counteract the 10 pints and kebab you had last night? To pick a winner, I have devised a test. My brother Phil is a fitness guru. I let him loose on both videos to crown the ultimate christmas workout video. I have plotted the results on the graph below.

It's pretty conclusive, I think it says it all really. So, all that's left for me to say is, have a healthy Christmas, don't eat too much, and watch your new video in the knowledge that you've got the best advice available on the market today.

But if that fails, Mr Motivator is on his way back to TV, no doubt in a spandex-clad private jet powered exclusively by squat thrusts and the occasional lunge (for steering of course).

Stay fit!

Ian Ravenscroft

Video Wall 4

• 'Argent Content' - Philippe Dussol. This was shown during Gigbeth, with The Guillemots improvising a score for it. Interesting that whilst still shot in this decade it looks quite old. Amazing to think quickly low budget film making technology has improved. Still, can't beat an old pair of roller skates. 
  
• Economiclassics - Eva Becker. One of new subscribers on YouTube made this. I don't know what any of the words mean, but that's probably just as well. It's nonesensical loveliness, complimenting the fact that 81% of statistics are useless.
  
• The Shining Re-Cut uploaded by neochosen. The power of editing turns The Shining into the next big feel good comedy of the year. Don't know who made this though.
  
• Sheep Worrier 5 - Craig Hindmarsh (Animaxy). Part of series of 'Sheep Worrier' cartoons, this is my personal favourite.
  

Thoughts on the 4Talent Awards

Having been fortunate enough to be invited for my contribution to the magazine, I popped down to London for 4Talent's annual awards ceremony to celebrate the latest bunch of worthy winners ready and waiting to 'hit the big time'.

After a busy and eventful week, I decided the night would be best enjoyed rather than spent 'working' (either by trying to nab a few words to do a write-up or trying to 'network', as was for many the main attraction of the evening I'm sure). And enjoy it I did.

Before the ceremony had even begun I was having a great time. Walking into Channel 4 HQ for the first time was extremely satisfying, especially as a fan and keen admirer of what the institution and brand stands for. As I made my way in, I noticed that the casual dress code was perfect for the night. Everyone seemed relaxed and ready to have fun, and no one seemed to have slightest whiff of "who are you and why are you wasting my time?" about them.

Perhaps it was because most were 'up and coming' rather than established stars, but I suspect a lot was down to the setting of the tone, especially evident in the self-effacing execs and judges that dished out the rather groovy luminescent gongs (see right).

The awards themselves were swiftly presented, pushed along by the MC for the night, who with his 'middle-class' Jimmy Carr-meets-Micheal Mcintyre shtick was generally very funny (although doing a joke about someone sleeping with – the now deceased – Jeremy Beadle's 15-year-old daughter, having already poked fun at the 'Brandgate' scandal, was a mistake and rightfully bombed). All of the acceptance speeches were very humble too, often funny and never grated like so many of the teary-eyed Hollywood schmaltz-fests.

After the informal formalities were done and dusted, I had a wander around and was pleased to meet some lovely, interesting and very talented people. Music winner Iain Woods, who I had blogged on at Gigbeth, was particularly friendly and genuinely nice to chat with. The same went for James Curran and James Knott, the music video winners I profiled in the magazine, whose approach to balancing the bills with success was inspiring.

Chats were also had with Timo Langer, one half of the film direction winners, as well as last year's film winner Vanessa Caswill. Personal congratulations were somewhat fleetingly meted out to animator Liam Brazier of LittleNobody and journalism winner Natalie Whelan too.

All in all, I think the organisers can be proud to have kept the atmosphere relaxed and informal, while the addition of beatboxer Beardyman to round things up was a nice surprise (all from his voice? amazing!). The only unfortunate aspect of the evening was not having time to stick around longer, being cruelly forced to leave the fun early to catch a train back to Brum. Personally, I hope I get the opportunity to go again, and I hope all of this year's winners fulfill their undoubted talent and start 'making it big' in 2009, it's the least they deserve.

Ian Ravenscroft